My Impossible Intimacy that Never Grows Cold

I want to die for you

Ohh baby, I love you. Because you’re anywhere but right here.

And when I really loved you you’d never really care.

It hurts. I wish you knew how bad. If I clinched my fists and got sick thinking about you then maybe you would care even less.

And that’s the intimacy I demand from you. Yeah, give me more of that. Pure, painful, distant love.

Do you just aspire to maximize the pulsing longing that only ever gets worse? Worse through your silence. And you love to assume I don’t exist. No one can do this to me but you:(. And ohh how it makes my arms tingle and my bosom shake.

I’d love if I forgot all about you. But this longing, overwhelming feeling I can’t shake? I want it some more. And you don’t even care?

You act so innocent, but there’s no way.

So here’s what I ask: Make it worse. So I just can’t stand it.

Make it so I can’t even work.

Put me in limp mode.

Force me so I can’t even eat.

My spirit shrinks and the blossoms die. My face all wrinkles and my bed too uncomfortable to lie.

For Gods sake, make me die over you.

Do it through silence, do it by force. Do it and never make a noise.

Hell if it makes you feel better then do it without ever even knowing it.

Then maybe I can finally get to the sweet sweet longing point where I just can’t handle it.

Ohhh ohh baby tell me more. Tell me through silence and zero noise.

I love the longing but I’m almost dead. I love our nonexistent history all in my head.

The sweetest walks and those texts you sent. The farther they’re gone the more I regret.

I regret nothing because I love this love. I couldn’t handle you far and can’t handle you close.

Neither will do and what can I say. My non existence might be the only fix.

Ohh baby in solemn retreat. Eat my heart and hear its last heartbeat. No it doesn’t matter, I never did.

But without you it’s pointless and I don’t care when.

Forever goodbye and I’m lost in you. So don’t give a shit and I’ll be there for you.